The One with the Headhunter
The sock drawer, LITERARY MAGAZINE
"The One With the Headhunter", May 2021 issue, The Sock Drawer, thesockdrawer.net
I am in a coaching session. I am at my best. We talk about money mindset. My client visualizes 100.000 a year. We connect the number to feeling thrilled and exited. “I make 100.000 this year!” says my client. Present tense. The money is already there. We can smell it…
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I am working in my side hustle job. I am the coach in a coaching session. I am at my best. Me and my client talk about money mindset. My client visualizes 100.000 a year. We connect the number to our emotions. We feel thrilled and exited. “I make 100.000 this year!” says my client. Present tense. The money is already there. We can smell it.
I tell my client how I manifested my Swiss 160.000 job. For half a year I chanted, while running: “I love money, money loves me.” I worked on my old belief systems about money. I opened myself up to new possibilities. One day I felt extra cheeky: I doubled my goal. No, not 80.000, 160.000. Yeah. “Money and me. BFF!”
We end the coaching session. We both feel exited. We both are optimistic about all the coming possibilities. I click on the leave button of the zoom meeting. I check my emails. Everett Amsterdam: “Good Day, Mrs. King. We would love to talk to you about this director position in Zurich. Blabla.” I am beyond thrilled. I never got contacted by a headhunter before. The money thing still works! I get all exited. I fantasize about the African dresses I would buy and wear in the office. Just to annoy all the men in suits. I imagine my new income. Let’s double it! Again! I dream about a first-class unlimited travel card for the Swiss railway system. My husband Colin looks at Zurich real estate.
Colin asks: “Wouldn’t that mean even more meetings, more budgets, more management?” “Sure,” I reply. My head is still in first-class, “but I will have 236 employees.”
“Wouldn’t you work even more than you work now?”, “Sure, but I would have three hours on the train every day to do my emails.”
“Wouldn’t we stop seeing you?” “Sure, but I’ll make so much money. We would buy a boat on Zurich lake!”
I decide to think about it for a bit. I have been there before. Flattered by big numbers. This time I want to be smarter.
In the afternoon I go to my favorite bookstore to get a copy of Find the job that makes you truly happy. Another book in my extended self-help-book library. On the second page of the book I read: “Imagine you get a job offer. How are you supposed to know if you should take it? Imagine you already got the job. How does it make you feel?” – I feel: Okay – “Do you feel exited? Do you feel happiness?” – I do not feel anything – “Are you thrilled about the new company/employer/boss?” – Hmm, a bit, I guess. – “Do you look forward to your first day at work?” – Oh no, definitely not. – “And the most important question: Do you feel more energy or less?” – I flinch. I already miss my yoga mornings, my coaching sessions, my time to write.
I fantasize about how I would teach deep belly breathing to the men in suits. I imagine how I could bike to work. I envision myself working from home three days a week. I daydream about calling in sick once a month. I keep on reading. “When in doubt, always listen to your heart.” Wise words.