The One with the Lice

photo by the author

We sit on the train from Germany to Switzerland. It is 33 Celsius degrees outside. It is 35 degrees Celsius inside. It is Covid19 era. We wear face masks. The only seats left are right opposite the rest room. I have a hard time to breathe. I ask my daughter to move away from me a bit. It is too hot. “My head itches,” she says. I look at her. I see 4 crawling lice on her head. I move her hair a bit. I see more lice. “We have lice,” I say. We get off the train. We walk right onto the pharmacy at the station. “We have lice,” I say. The saleswoman tells us all about the advantages of five different products. I choose two.

The moment we get home I let everybody take off their clothes. I comb my daughter’s hair. I see around 100 lice. She recommends cutting her hair. I cut her hair. I cut my son’s hair. I comb her hair. I comb his hair. I comb my hair. I put chemical number one on her hair. I put chemical number one on his hair. I put chemical number one on my hair. We wait. We itch. We scream. I hoover the kitchen floor. Lice and hair. 15 minutes later we wash our heads. We use chemical number two: the lice repellent shampoo. To cheer us up I make a pizza. Cheese and olives on one side. Onions and cheese on the other side. I am exhausted. I long for me-time: no lice, no kids.

My daughter can’t sleep. She hates her new haircut. I cut it exactly the way she wanted. She is sad. Finally, she falls asleep. I let the hamster out and watch TV. My daughter wakes up and comes into my bed. I get us some water. My son wakes up. Back in the bed I am sandwiched by my two children. They got one of my pillows each. It is too hot. I can’t sleep.

The next morning my daughter scratches her head. I scratch my head. Lice bites.
The dog needs to go out. At the dog park there are young dogs with big jaws. They bite into each other’s hair. My daughter is still unhappy with her hair. I comb her hair. I count 50 lice. I comb my son’s hair. I count 5 lice. I comb my hair. I can’t look at the top of my head. I put chemical number one on her head, on his head, on my head. We wait. We suffer. We wash our hair. Lice repellent shampoo. In the afternoon I take a nice long nap.

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