Reflections on my coaching journey
photo taken of a random hotel painting
Today, I want to reflect on my many coaching sessions with the question: too many? As I have the feeling, I do suffer from something like coaching burnout.
I am a twofold certified life coach. Yet still, I have my doubts about the whole coaching business. Maybe I miss the right mindset. Maybe I was expecting too many wonders. Maybe I was not putting in enough work. Maybe it is time for me to move on for me?
It all started in the late 1990s when I began to coach my lost self with Babara Sher’s “I could do anything I only knew what it was.” I loved doing all the exercises in the book, but did not get the clarity I was hoping for. I continued my search by reading even more self-help books. I read “love yourself, and it doesn’t matter who you marry” by Eva-Maria Zurhorst long before I even thought about getting married myself, quasi as prophylaxis. I devoured “Simplify your life.” even though I am the most minimalist person I know.
Shortly before we moved to the States, I did my first One-Day-Coaching called the Joblab. Finally, I wanted to know what I should do with my life. I thought I should re-invent myself with emigration. Eight hours and a lot of money later, I heard that I should do something with yoga and start my own business. I should have listened, not only halfheartedly.
Living in the US, I began to build up, what my friends jokingly call my, Fuck-it-Library. In my bookshelf you find books with the beautiful titles like “How to be a badass in making money”, “Fuck it. Do what you want”, “The Subtle Art of not giving a Shit” etc.
After we moved to Switzerland, I became even more interested in coaching. I graduated from a leadership coaching training before I started my new job. I did a training in “negotiation skills for women”, when it was already too late. I graduated from my first life coaching training from a fancy institute in Zürich.
After that, I felt I stop teaching school stuff to my students, but started asking them about their true callings instead.
Still, I did not know what I truly wanted to do with my life. Even though I turned 40. I did another one-day-find-out-about-your-dream-job-coaching. At the end of that day, it became clear that I should be a leadership coach. It gave me a lot of food for thought, however, that my coach was in the process of setting up a coaching business for leadership coaches. I was not satisfied.
My feminist self went on and booked my second coaching training. This one was all about supporting women on how to step into their own powers. I am very grateful for this training by Tara Mohr. I use her teachings in my everyday life and in all my teachings. But still, I was searching, searching, searching. I did about 20 guinea-pig-coaching sessions with friends and friends of friends for their coaching trainings. Finally, I did a third one-day-long-coaching-session to find out about my true calling. This one was accompanied by complex psychologically questionnaires. It seemed more legitimate. I learned that I should start my own business (ah, I heard that before) as a speaker and commentator. Here I go. Yes, I agreed. But how to transfer my skills into a blooming business?
I did not feel like booking another coaching to find out. A couple of months later, instead, I see myself sitting at a tarot reader and art coaching office. My main tarot card is the reversed hanged man. The hanged man asks you to pause, to take a break, to not force any decisions. The reversed hanged man tells quite another story. The reversed Hanged Man is demanding me to learn other ways of looking at the world. I should try new things, new people, new ways of looking into the world. This sounds difficult, but maybe it is time to move on. I used every excuse I found in all my self-help books. Now, it is time to let go and live.