Let go and start going.

image by the author

Going means being. Being means creating. Creating something new. Being does not equal the repetition of stereotypes. 

It is not the unachieved goals that make life difficult for us. It is not the thought about our future that discourages us from going. It is rather the many conditions in our head, heart, and life that keep us from going off and not only finding our very own life. And in case we find it, not daring to live it.  

How would that feel? To live your life: without justification, without guilt. without doubt. 

In my experience as a coach, lecturer, mother, and above all myself, I have found that there is never a lack of goals for the future. Many of these goals are also achieved. The happiness hoped for and felt, in case the goal is achieved, often does not last long. The self-doubt is quickly back. The feeling that something is not enough, that there still could be more, should be more. 

As long as we move in expectations, we are not moving. We are moving the expectations. 

Even if it is unconsciousness. Most humans still act upon expectation motivators: What might our parents expect from us? What could society expect from us? What could our partner expect from us? Our colleagues? Our children? Our neighbors? Our social media contacts? Our pet? Etc.

When we act out of the fear to keep up to those expectations, we act upon the very basic fear of not being loved. We move out of fear. We hope to finally get to a state of unconditional love. When we reach the goal. What happens: nothing. We take on another goal and hope the magic will finally happen then. Fancier title, fancier house, fancier salary… you know what I am talking about. We have all been there. 

We are moving forward, but with the heavy backpack (of expectations) that we didn't necessarily knowingly put o. A backpack that we don't even necessarily assume exists.

After all, the free will with which we made our decisions is not so free. We are shaped by parents, family, friends, schools, education, work, media, movies, news, economic expectations, and so on. These external factors impose choices on us.

These kinds of decisions and goals somehow might feel right at first. We are busy bees working on achieving our goals. The business makes us feel productive and needed. But then upon reaching those goals, after a brief high, we feel that emptiness again. The degree, the house, the salary, the xxx, makes us happy only for a short time. 

I would like to encourage you to sense exactly: What is mine? What comes from the outside? What do I want to accept, what not? When is it time to let go of certain topics, goals, ideas.

Or, as Erich Fromm has already said in 1976, it is about being, not having. How do we want to be as human beings?  The focus here is on being.

Being is a verb. Being means creating. Creating something new. Being is not the repetition of stereotypes. 

How would it feel, to let go of tour old bag filled with expectations, and focus on the being, the doing, the creating instead? 

So: let's let go and let's go.

But what exactly should we let go of: 

Firstly, the breath. How would it feel to breathe out completely? To let go of everything that the body no longer needs. Do not hold on to your breath. Let go of all the used-up energy. 

Secondly, digestion. Drink a lot. Poop a lot. Let go. 

Let go of your unhappy childhood. It's Never Too Late to Have a Happy Childhood, says Finnish psychologist Ben Furmann.

Let go of expectations of partnership and family.

Let go of expectations about money.

Let go of expectations about career and purpose.

Let go of lifestyle expectations.

Let go of expectations about fitness, sports, nutrition. 

Let go, and let yourself be. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Just be. 

Focus on doing, not on having. You are, you breathe, you think, you speak, you smile, you eat, you walk. 

Let go and start going. 

Remember yourself to let go of no longer useful expectations. Use breathing, stepping, smiling, as a reminder.

You chose your actions. 

I know, it is scary. It's an adventure. It's an experiment. 

But wouldn't it be worth it? After the stale and long-gone feelings of happiness that have brought us material goods, and external achievements?

What happens if you simply allow yourself to be?